The Disappearance of Buyer Agency

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What if?

Seems like it’s at least possible at this point that buyer agency could cease to exist in the next year or two. A lot of people make the majority of their income from working with buyers.

What if there was no more need for buyer agency?1

Maybe the seller could save 2-3%. I’m of the mind that it would mean they’d get less activity on the property, at least until if/when this became the norm. Then, maybe, buyers will have found a more direct way to find the home and then the listing agent would benefit. But even then, if the listing broker can’t represent the buyer (or doesn’t want. to because they’re not incentivized and they’re otherwise just incurring more liability), who helps them negotiate? Even if a seller did have multiple buyers wanting to buy their house, how would those buyers negotiate well on their own behalf without representation? The listing broker can’t do it without establishing Dual Agency (permissable in NH), and I know I wouldn’t want to without money to justify both the work and the risk.

Maybe everyone will just have to hire attorneys on the buyer side.

The prevailing argument of the class-action lawsuits is that sellers had to unjustly pay for buyer agency, and that the fees paid for buyer agency were inflated and that the whole situation was anticompetitive.

From my perspective and that of many people I know, buyer agency was effectively a marketing expense for sellers. Anywhere (formerly Realogy) settled for north of $80m, and ReMax settled for around $55, but NAR, Home Services, and Keller Williams have yet to settle.

If buyer agency continues to diminish, it’s going to make for an interesting world in the real estate industry.

There is already a glut of agents that are picking up one deal here, two deals there. But when you factor in how many of those agents there are (many), it becomes easy to see how they affect the bottom line for everyone else who does this to make a living.

The end-result situation of no buyer agency could potentially be more lucrative for listing agents, even if the double-siding transactions goes away. Listing agents would be more likely to secure representation of the sale of the buyers’ homes and that would yield more business. Having to work both sides of a transaction (even if the buyer is self-represented) means more work overall.

I don’t think the industry is so unsophistocated to let buyer agency fall between the cracks without some company rolling in to disrupt the real estate industry even more with some “solution” to the problem. This could get worse before it gets better though, for people in the industry as well as for the consumer.

It will be interesting to see how things play out. I’m not sure whether articulating a really great buyer agency value proposition is going to cut it for buyer agents. Money talks and bullshit runs the marathon, as Nino Brown said in New Jack City. If buyers have to come out of pocket for $8-$10k on a $400,000 purchase (or $4-6k on a $200,000 purchase), they might decide not to come out of pocket at all.

  1. I think the need is there until something better replaces it, but from the consumer’s perspective, if the seller can save money by not paying out buyer agency and still sell their house, then I think they’re going to see it as unnecessary. It’s up to us to accentuate the value of having buyer agents because of their incentive to bring qualified buyers to the listing in the first place. ↩︎
The Disappearance of Buyer Agency

Competition

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I’m an envious bastard.

There are a few (several) agents in my market that consistently sell more than me, and a couple of them have continued to grow and sell more despite my plateauing.

They’re good at what they do and they spend a lot of time and money in their businesses. I admire them, I know most of them fairly well. Still, when I see their success, it doesn’t make me feel warm and fuzzy.

Real estate is a zero-sum game. When they win, I lose. The notion that “there’s enough to go around for everyone” seems to have never been less true than it is right now. We have low inventory, a glut of agents, and few buyers that are willing and able to buy.

I used to hear that though: “There’s enough for everyone,” and I would feel reassured. I remember when I first got into the business in early 2018 and my then-broker would talk about what it was like in a down market. She made the comment that they always made sure there was enough for everyone, but that they all had to tighten their belts a little.1

I’m not sure there’s going to be enough for everyone. I’m a pretty scrappy dude when push comes to shove. I have a somewhat trying upbringing and the Marine Corps to thank for that. But I expect that a lot of agents are going to struggle in the next few years—myself included.

Nationally, there are almost 7,000 fewer agents2 than there were at the end of 2022. But if you look back to August of 2022, there are almost 19,000 fewer.3

So people are getting out. For people who sell real estate who sell more than 10 deals per year, this is a good thing.

Why? You might think that it doesn’t make any difference if Janice stops selling real estate because she has a history of consistently selling 2-3 houses per year.

But what you may not have considered, is that Janice and all the other Janices out there are gobbling up the ones and twos, the here’s and the there’s, that you and the other top-producing agents would be listing and selling.

While they may not be on your radar, they ought to be in this regard. They’re eating up deals.

I’m still a pretty competitive person, whether I like it or not, and I don’t like seeing other people succeed. I’d like to though. It’s an intention. But I think this is still too primal for me. I’m 33 and have four kids and my wife’s home raising them. I’m competing with retired 65-year-old women who are married, don’t need to work, happen to know everyone, decide to get their license and they take off like a bat out of hell, for example.

I’m out for blood, man. I hate seeing them win. Makes me work harder.

It’s a weakness, a character defect of mine. And even though it’s not the type of motivation I aspire to be inspired by, it’s motivation nonetheless.

  1. For context, they were charging me and most agents there between 35%-%50% of every commission we earned. That’s not to mention that she was married to a doctor and co-owned the firm. I eventually left and went where I could make more money. ↩︎
  2. REALTORS®, with the numbers based on NAR‘s statistics. These numbers do not factor in licensees who are not REALTOR® members. ↩︎
  3. NAR – August Monthly Membership Report ↩︎
Competition

Cold 3rd Party Leads

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I hate these.

We recently subscribed to Zillow in a small way. The closest actual area with leads available in it is about 30-35 minutes from my home. That’s where we did it.

I know the area okay, but it’s not my backyard. I’ve sold a couple/few houses over there, but there are parts of it I don’t know, and the surrounding towns are even more obscure for me.

That’s not what’s important though. What’s important is the quality of the lead.

I have friends who sell tons of shit and their primary lead source is Zillow. I’m not knocking it for them. But for me? Eh…

So, I got the Zillow call. It’s Saturday, 1:30 in the afternoon. I just finished lunch with my family and we’re literally walking out the door to go for a walk in the woods. Classic Zillow timing.

I try to actually not take the call because I was feeling very invested in spending time with my family and going on this walk.

They connected the lead to me anyway.

I texted the person because I was prompted to, saying that I was out and about, that today would not work, but that I would work on scheduling something when I was with my computer a little later. They said okay. Tomorrow after 2 would work for them.

I’m still reluctant. It’s gotta be tomorrow because it can’t be today, and I have the afternoon saved so my wife can go out with her friend while I stay with the kids. That’s not until 4. If I schedule this for 2, maybe I can get back in time to make it all work.

Zillow’s model is predicated on you being the appointment scheduler—the door opener. It degrades, at least initially, the role of the buyer agent to the most banal of examples of a real estate professional.

Can you tell it hurts my pride?

I get back and schedule the appointment. I reached back out to the buyer. I’d like to connect for a couple minutes on the phone before we show up at the house together.1 They don’t respond.

I wait a while (hours) and then text a question mark. They said something like, “Can’t talk now. Still good for tomorrow at 2?”

I replied that the appointment was scheduled, but that I like to jump on the phone, at least briefly, prior to the appointment so we can cover a few things.2

They didn’t respond.

I texted a while later that if it was easier for them to text, we could do that too. I asked whether they’d be using financing or cash to buy a home if they found one they liked.

Nothing.

I’m very reluctant to drive thirty minutes each way to show a condo anyway, not to mention to a cold lead, not to mention to an ice cold lead I’ve never spoken with, NOT TO MENTION an ice cold lead I’ve never spoken with who can’t seem to see any importance is humoring me with ten minutes on the phone.

Finally, I said that if we were not able to connect briefly to chat—whether via text or call—prior to the appointment, I was going to have to cancel it and I wouldn’t be able to help them.

They immediately texted me that they could talk.

They preferred texting.3 I asked whether this would be the first home they’d seen, or if they’d already been out to see some. They immediately texted and said that their agent was away tomorrow, and that’s why they needed me to show them the home. Their agent will be writing and submitting the offer, he just can’t show the house tomorrow.

Thank God.

I responded by thanking them profusely for telling me that, and telling them that I would be canceling the appointment, could not help them, and that they should ask their agent why if they felt confused.

I sent the email to cancel the Zillow subscription and to notify me when there’s availability closer to our office.

Bah humbug, and it’s not even October yet.

  1. I’ve only done two others in the last month or so. I’ve shown up at the house to meet them, and the listing agent in one case, and had established almost zero rapport prior to the appointment. I was tired of that because of how foreign it was to my process with warm leads. And I’ve always thought that agents who’ve done that when I’ve represented sellers in the past were weak, especially when they show up and the buyer doesn’t. Call me an asshole. It’s just not strong salesmanship or agency. ↩︎
  2. Qualify them so I don’t waste any more of my time. ↩︎
  3. This is also beginning to make me skeptical. I had an experience earlier this year where I listed a piece of raw land for someone who didn’t own it. It pays to be scrupulous with people these days—if it ever didn’t! ↩︎
Cold 3rd Party Leads

Warm Buyer Lead Process

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Most of the buyers that I deal with either find me online or are referred to me by someone I know. That doesn’t mean I’m not interviewing to work with them or that I’m not otherwise on trial.

It usually begins as an email or a form they fill out on my website or sometimes as a text message. Almost never is this a phone call.

I greet them and then I move on to selling the appointment. I’m not selling them a house or anything else. The only thing I’m focused on is selling the appointment. I either want to get face-to-face (ideal, if they’re local) or on the phone.

It’s usually easier to justify the phone call as a first measure. It’s easy to do because I can step them up by selling them on a “quick phone call when it’s convenient for them.” If they’re warm (which all these kinds of leads are), this is rarely met with any resistance.

Once I get them on the phone, I—casually—work through the questions that I want answered. I qualify them. I usually begin by encouraging them to explain their situation to me. 1 Once they’ve finished, I’ll reiterate some of what they’ve said back to them, “You’re living in Virginia with your wife but you’re moving back up and want to begin your home search in the spring. That makes sense,” and then I’ll move into some questions that I have. I’ll usually preface this question-asking by saying something like, “I just have a few questions for my process that I’ll ask you now. Does that sound alright?” Then I’ll move through my qualifying questions. 2

  • What’s the best email for you?
  • How do I spell your last name (if that’s not already known)?
  • You mentioned your (spouse, wife, husband, children, dog, aunt, etc.). Is it just them that’s moving with you? (Identify the decisionmakers)
  • Great. What is/are their name(s)?
  • What do you expect is your budget? 3
  • Are you preapproved?
  • Are you open to speaking to my number 1 mortgage professional (whether they’re preapproved or not, I sell the relationship because he’s excellent at what he does and it makes a big difference in the experience)?
  • What’s your timeframe/when would you like to be settled?
  • What do you expect from someone in my position?
  • Do you have a house to sell?

I don’t robotically go through these questions unless there’s an utter lack of rapport, then sometimes it does feel a bit forced. I go through these questions conversationally with context added in and around them. With the question about what their expectations are, I might begin by saying something like, “You’ve bought a house before/sold a house before,” or, “Maybe you’ve never bought or sold a house before, but maybe you’ve dealt with an attorney or a financial advisor where the person you were interacting with was in a position to help you with an important matter. In situations like that one as well as our situation, what sort of things are important to you or do you expect from the person that’s in my role?”

In this portion, it’s pretty natural to touch on agency and why it’s important to have a relationship with an agent that is on a client level rather than a customer level. Today, the prospect mentioned that it seemed like their agent—when they bought their current home—was only showing them houses that the agent wanted and was less inclined to show them houses they wanted to see. I explained that usually in this situation, which is a common complaint among consumers, the agent was likely trying to steer them toward listings the agent or the agent’s office represented because there was a financial incentive to do so. I went on to explain that this is why it’s important to have a buyer agent who respects the nature of the fiduciary relationship and is out to represent the client and their best interests, not the other way around. This is a useful pre-frame for setting the second appointment/call where you review paperwork and secure the client.

If there’s some rapport, the conversation should flow somewhat smoothly.

Once I get through these, the next step is to sell the appointment/second appointment. 4 I’m working to establish the next steps as I’m concluding my conversation. If they’ve agreed to talk to the lender, I’m explaining that I’ll be sending them an email once we hang up so they’ll have my contact information and I’ll also include the mortgage professional’s contact information. If they’d prefer, I can have the lender reach out directly to them so it’s one less thing they have to think about. 5

The next step from there is to set up a time so we dig further into the agency laws and discuss more about what it looks like to form a representative relationship. At this point, too, we can really dial in the home search criteria and set up an automatic search using the MLS so they can begin seeing properties.

When’s a good time for them? This will either be a phone call or a face-to-face appointment. Depending on the level of rapport, I may insist on the spouse being present. If they’re not local, it’s difficult to justify their driving to meet me at an office or public place for this purpose, especially when we can e-sign everything. If they are local, that’s almost always my approach, but I’m backing off trying to get non-local people to drive to meet me just so we can review the paperwork. The warmest of them will, but I think it’s more of a challenge than most people are willing to bear. So opt for the phone call with one or both and review the client paperwork together to answer questions like you would in person. This is where you secure the client, and that’s the second step in the buyer process.

  • Step 1 – Secure the appointment/call
  • Step 2 – (Secure the second appointment/call so you can…) Secure the client
  1. This will be what their current situation is, who all is involved, etc. ↩︎
  2. I’ll write out these questions in a note in my CRM so I can type them in during the call and just click save. I used to keep them in my Notes app under a folder called Buyer Notes (and Seller Notes). I still will grab quick stuff there as it comes up but the CRM is the ultimate storage place for all things people. ↩︎
  3. Their response will tell you how much they’re aware of their ability to buy. Some people have this very dialed in, others will speak in terms of a monthly payment, and others will take a stab, arbitrarily, at a dollar amount for the house. It’s less about what they say and more about how they say it so you can intuit, in the moment, how to proceed. This question sets up your tonality and approach for the next two questions. ↩︎
  4. If I got the appointment in the first place rather than the call, I’ll go through all these things in person. I’ll almost always have at least a quick call before scheduling the appointment in person. ↩︎
  5. Usually this has appeal to it, assuming they’re open to the conversation with the LO. ↩︎
Warm Buyer Lead Process

Service and Volunteering

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Tonight I was talking to a woman, face to face, about how she’s thinking about downsizing, and it was a point of discussion that happened to come up.

I serve on two boards, one as the Treasurer and the other as the President. I’ve done various forms of non-profit/volunteer work since I’ve been in real estate. It’s been an effective way to meet and mingle with people that I otherwise wouldn’t.

What follows is referrals and direct business from people that I work with in these different volunteering roles.

When I was early in real estate, my mentors at the time instructed me to find things that I was interested in and to volunteer in those areas. An important caveat was to not volunteer for things I wasn’t interested in.

Coming into real estate, I was a writer and an avid reader. Still am. My broker looked at me and basically said, “Well, you’ll need to either find some other things you’re interested in that involve people, or maybe things that have to do with reading and writing.”

So, I proceeded to get involved with the local library which was, at the time, raising millions of dollars for the construction of a new building. That works.

I had one child in the public school at the time. So, I got involved with the PTO.

The town I lived in has a Welcome Team that greets new residents at their homes and gives them a hand-woven basket filled with local goods and pamphlets. Pretty neat service to have in a small rural town in New Hampshire. So, I joined the committee!

I have an interest in buildings and architecture as well as history. So, I joined the Heritage Commission in another town where I lived later.

Most of these were in alignment with what I valued. They all were, really. It was more in the doing of these things where I was able to learn what groups I felt more comfortable in, and weeded them as I moved and as I did different things.

A friend called a couple years ago (who I met through my service in the local Kiwanis Club, which I joined very early in real estate) and asked me to help his organization search for a building to buy. The organization is a local transitional shelter.

We found them a building and they bought it and we went our separate ways. But I later had the idea that it might be a good board to be involved with. Any future purchases they involve me in, while I’m on the board, I won’t be able to financially benefit from. That’s okay with me. I liked the idea that it serves a population that I can’t otherwise help in housing. It counterbalances my work such that I feel like I’m able to help everyone with housing in my community.

Kind of cool.

And finally, the Kiwanis Club. I have been a member since I got into real estate, and last year I formally joined the board. Now, I’m the President of the club and my term begins next month.

These things are good things to do as a community member, but they also help me to build more relationships and relationships with people from varied backgrounds. It was an invaluable suggestion early on that I’m grateful I heeded.

Service and Volunteering

Never Judge the Lead

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Here’s how I almost threw away a $1,250,000 lead.

The day before yesterday, I showed a $725,000 house to a buyer I connected with through Zillow.

I’ve primarily done referral-based business for the last three years, with some early help from Zillow and Bold Leads. We recently decided to throw some money at Zillow because we’ve heard from so many people (watched so many people) significantly augment their business with it.

That being said, I don’t love it. I get the value, but the forced intro, the expectation that I’m going to get you your appointment in 45 seconds, the expectation of seeing a home together before meeting in person to talk and form a client relationship — these things all go against the grain of what I’ve done for a while.1

So, I got connected with this guy. He seemed a little terse or timid (couldn’t tell) on the phone, but I hung up, scheduled the appointment with the list broker, called him back to confirm, and sent him a subsequent email with the showing packet.

He doesn’t respond to the email… Alright. Whatever.

The next day, I finish a late-morning listing appointment and head to the general area where I’ll meet this guy.2 I have lunch. Then I called to confirm the appointment.3 He doesn’t answer.

At this point, I’m saying f-it and going for it with the hopes that maybe it will all come together. And if not, I’ll autopsy it and get better with my process — especially around these strange leads I’m not used to.4

I pull up. Nice house, amazing view, excellent plot of land. I’m pulling up the long driveway after driving up the long road, and two cars are in the driveway. A man and a woman (the listing broker is a woman), a late-90s drop-top Mercedes SLK, and a black Chrysler 300. Here goes.

Turns out, the Chrysler is here from the owner, and the SLK is the buyers’, and it’s him and his wife. They’re friendly and pleasant. All is good.

The other agent shows up. She’s a stud that’s been doing it for 100 years. She walks us in around up and down and talks the whole time. Little for me to say other than my little noises affirming what she’s saying and occasionally chiming in.

We finish up, say goodbye to the list broker, and go to depart. He thanks me for my time and getting them in there, shakes my hand, and says take care. The wife shakes my hand and says it was nice to meet me.

What would you think or feel when you got into your car and they were already driving away?

Did they really just want to see the house and are otherwise not interested in anything? Did I not say enough, or did I say something wrong or something that bothered them? Did I seem desperate?

Mind you, the showing was positive. All was good, or as good as one could expect, regarding establishing rapport with people you met in the last thirty minutes. But there was no, “We’re going to think it over,” or, “What do you think?” or, “We’re going to chat and let’s touch base later.” I had to insert something to that end and was met with no affirmation in return other than them saying it was nice to meet me.

So, I’m driving away thinking I just wasted a goddamn afternoon on this. Not to mention money and resources.

Something Brian Moses taught me was to never judge the lead. He hammered that, and I didn’t understand it at first. As time has gone on, I’ve grown to understand it more.

I knew these people just fucking blew me off. Still, I persisted.

Internet, or the lack of it available there, was a concern they mentioned. A large one. The wife works from home, and the husband owns a company and needs to be accessible even when he’s not at work.

Best you can do up there is satellite internet. The listing broker texted me later and said she spoke with a neighbor, and they said they had a high-speed provider. I had the thought of suggesting Starlink as well. So, I put together a simple email explaining that I couldn’t verify the availability of the Internet provider online but that they still may be worth a call. I mentioned, too, that Starlink was another option that appeared to be available, and I included screenshots and links and such.

No reply.

At this point, I expected that he wouldn’t reply to the email. I planned to call him yesterday to follow up on it and get some feedback.

That I did. I called him yesterday afternoon before I left with my family for a weekend getaway. No answer.

I left him a voicemail with something to the effect of, “Hey ________, it’s Sam. Give me a call when you get a second? 603-____-_____. Thanks.”

I expected I wouldn’t hear from him.

As we drove north to Lake Winnipesaukee, I got a call back. Spoke with him and he told me that, while the house was interesting and had beautiful views and a nice lot, it needed too much work. He explained some more about his reasoning and told me to let him know if something came up that checked those boxes or if the price on this one trended downward.

Fuck me, right?

It was fine. Everything was fine. But I about talked myself out of wanting to deal with this guy. I had begun to convince myself that he was just a jerk who didn’t care about wasting my time and didn’t even have the respect to call me (or respond to me) to let me know he wasn’t interested.

I was wrong. Never judge the lead. That’s. a $700,000+ buyer lead and a $500,000+ seller lead. That’s a $1,250,000+/- lead!

And I was about to flush it because I judged the lead. Thanks, Brian.5

  1. I’m trying to be open-minded in the interest of generating new business and leaving no lead source unexploited. ↩︎
  2. My immediate marketplace has next-to-no Zillow availability. So, I bought some in a small city about half an hour from my office. Not a place where I love to work, but the only viable option to experiment with Zillow. ↩︎
  3. This is typically not something I do. I want to show up and have them not be there so I can have a justifiable position of what-the-fuck for when we next talk because it puts me in more of a powerful position in the relationship. Unless they’re very callous (or if they just never respond again), they’re typically apologetic and regretful and experience the burden of reciprocity. In this situation, I didn’t want to drive another 20 minutes farther away and have this guy not even be there. Mainly because the showing was assisted, and I’d be wasting the listing broker’s time as well as my own. ↩︎
  4. This is something I’ve decided to do anyway. I need to qualify these buyers on the phone after I make the appointment. I need to develop a list of qualifying questions and run through that every time. They’re not warm, referral-based leads like I’m used to. To them, I’m the equivalent of a telemarketer, somebody who gets them their real estate showing and unlocks the door. ↩︎
  5. This is not an extreme or unusual example. This happens to me fairly often. Sometimes, people don’t fit into the mold of behavior that I expect them to. I trust this will happen less and less as I gain more experience, but it still gets me. How much money have you lost in commission income from judging the lead? ↩︎
Never Judge the Lead

The Autopsy Report

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Something I learned from an excellent real estate coach named Brian Moses is the importance of reflecting on things that go well and things that don’t. The emphasis was on things that didn’t go well, but it can be applied to positive situations as well.

Brian talked about filling notebook after notebook with what he called “Autopsies.” He would autopsy situations after they were done, in writing, to learn what he could do better next time when the situation presented itself again.

This is based on the professional wisdom that at a certain point, situations we encounter in business aren’t really new. My father-in-law talked about this during his last visit with us. He spoke about how employees that come into his business fit into archetypes and he can predict how well they’ll turn out in many cases because he’s seen and hired and fired the same guy (not literally) before.

Whenever I have a deal die or I have a lead that I feel should have converted but didn’t or when I lose a listing appointment, I autopsy it.

In practice, this basically looks like journaling about the situation. But more specifically, I ask myself where I could have done better, where I was at fault. On further reflection, It’s usually evident where I messed up.

The one that comes to mind is a listing appointment from last summer. They were sort of an odd couple, around my age, and the house was a bit unusual. Mostly because there were something like a half-dozen or more cats living there. There was one bedroom of the five that was actually for the cats.

The people were nice enough. He was a bit more forward, she a bit more reserved. I quickly grew comfortable with them because of our closeness in age. We toured the home, sat at the table, and I went through my presentation. Prior to the presentation, I felt that we had established rapport. I especially felt that way with the man.

Well, I have the unfortunate habit of vulgar speech. It’s rarely a problem in my professional life, but it’s a character handicap inherited from my parents and perfected in the Marines that I’d rather not have. Because I felt especially comfortable with the man, and to a lesser degree with the woman but still comfortable, at some point I began speaking freely as I would with friends.

At the time, it felt pretty natural. There were no adverse reactions, and there may have even been some reciprocity.

I followed up a couple times as it was just a matter of time for them to list. Then one day, she told me that her friend recommended she work with someone and she decided to take her friend’s recommendation. She wasn’t bitter about it, and she was obviously forthcoming and didn’t just ignore me. I asked her point blank if there was something more I could have done to win her business, or, if there was anything I could have done better.

She paused and seemed to consider it, then convincingly said, “No.”

I was a little pissed about the situation. It was in the bag. $12k, gone.

Of course, I hung up congenially enough. But I was hurting.

I thought of Brian. So, I opened a Word doc and wrote through it. It was informative for me. Similar to seeking direction the way I described in yesterday’s post, this is a way that I can uncover stuff that’s holding me back, stuff that I otherwise won’t notice that I’m coming up against.

Here’s the Autopsy Report below as an example:

Autopsy Report
 
(The Person’s Name Was Here)

I interviewed for the listing and she said she was going to clean the house and paint and get her shit out before listing in about a month. I followed up with her after 1 week via text saying, “Just checking in with you. Were you able to connect with Attorney _______ about the capital gains tax question?” She responded saying that she hadn’t had a chance to call him but would hopefully by the end of the week. I asked if she had any other questions or things I could assist with. She said, “No not yet. I’m working on packing and cleaning/painting.”
 
I followed up again two weeks later on 6/21/22 asking her how the painting was going. She responded “Hi, I’m doing good. I’ve just decided to go with a realtor that a friend of mine just used, but thank you for your time and advice.”
 
I asked her if there were any other differentiators besides her friend’s recommendation that helped her decide. She said no, it was just the recommendation.
 
Damn!
 
I could have communicated more often. I let two weeks slip by before I reached back out again. By then it was too late. How do I continue to add value while seller leads are in nurture mode? I didn’t establish sufficient trust for her anyway. I won over the boyfriend, but I didn’t win her over.
 
I swore profusely while I presented to them because I felt comfortable. That was a mistake.
 
My communication is limited to texts and emails on Tuesdays. While that’s a step in the right direction as far as what I’ve otherwise done previously (structure), it’s not a very upbeat rhythm. I need to increase communication, but do it systematically.
 
What else can I do to add value and help to build trust with sellers? Brian would say that I should have left with the client docs signed. Some of these sellers aren’t ready to sign though. I stumbled a little through the presentation too I remember because the listing sheets were the CloudCMA listing sheets and I wasn’t familiar with where some of the details are located on the page. I need to know them like I know my phone number. Even if there was some other factor, she wouldn’t say it. If there was some other factor, she may not even be aware of it. It’s more unconscious. Trust. You increase trust by increasing communication. But how do you increase communication with somebody without coming across as over-the-top? Maybe over-the-top would have been preferable to the bi-weekly texter…
 
She tells me she needs a month to get it ready to list. She finds a new realtor somewhere between week 1 and week 3. I could have called last week. I don’t call. I could have called ever. I could send her listings as they come on market. I could send them the digital pdf version of the report. I could increase the fear and tension rather than putting them at ease. How? By increasing motivation to list sooner because of market conditions worsening. Because of buyers disappearing and becoming more particular as time goes by.
 
The fact of the matter is, she felt no problem with taking another realtor over me and not letting me know. She didn’t care about letting me know because what I was delivering was a commodity service. There was no real relationship there. Nothing to speak of. Now, whether or not this is somebody that you would get lunch with, this is somebody that’s in the market to sell a $400k home. Transactional. She found you (number one) on her own, but then when push came to shove she preferred a referral from a friend of hers who’d just had a positive experience with someone else. You should use your referrals and Success Stories more in your listing presentations.
 
You could ask people who you’ve just helped if they know anyone who’s thinking of buying or selling in the next few months. Other agents do this, and this is part of the reason why they find themselves in these situations and you don’t. You have to learn how to ask for the referral.
 
Pay attention to who gets this listing. Irrespective, note that this is something that you do not know how to do and need to learn how to do. This is a weakness of yours, not a quality of your character.
 
Now don’t beat yourself up. God wants you to learn. Like Yoda said last night, “The greatest teacher, failure is.” Use it.

That’s a good example. I was able to uncover some ideas and insight that I wouldn’t have otherwise. Furthermore, I felt somewhat better after I wrote this out. I put my arms around it, identified where I fell short, and committed to not making those same mistakes twice. To me, this is the work of a pro. We all make mistakes. The question is whether or not we learn from them.

The Autopsy Report

Getting Direction

samuelabbottiii, , , , , , 1 Comment

I ended yesterday feeling as though I need to find direction for the energy I’m investing in my business. I was stressed and worried about money, and worried that I was spinning my wheels.

I’m unlike most people I know when it comes to seeking this kind of direction. I, like anybody, read things online to try to develop plans and designs about how to move forward and accomplish things.

The trouble with bigger questions is that the answers aren’t set in stone. They vary from person to person. Our tendency, as humans, to try to create a template for answering life’s questions is fallacious in that there are too many unaccounted-for variables for anyone to ever give the perfect answer.

But we look for patterns, as is our wont so that we can simplify the world around us and thereby live without massive confusion at even the mere prospect of fetching the mail.

What does that mean? It means that when I try to solve my life problems with the internet I typically don’t get far. I’ll usually make a strong start on something in some direction, then I peter out and eventually get back to square one or someplace like it.

I began my day remembering that I wanted to seek direction as I mentioned above. Instead of looking for more input, which is very natural for me and probably most people, I try to get as quiet as I can.

I’ve spent years meditating off and on and you could regard this as meditation.1 For me, I like to do this by submerging the back half of my head underwater while lying in the bathtub. I do it such that my ears will be underwater. It’s the most quiet my life ever gets. Something about the stillness and the silence I find in the water like that allows me to think extremely clearly.2

I’m a guy that does a lot of thinking. Perhaps we all are people who do a lot of thinking—I’m not sure. But I know that the thinking I do has degrees of effectiveness. Never is there a higher degree of effectiveness than when I’m taking a bath with my ears underwater like this. I float, and I listen.

It’s important for me to acknowledge, even if I’m reluctant to do so, that I have a spiritual belief system. I believe in something and I call it God. I grew up in a church, but don’t really give much weight to that at this phase of my life, and haven’t for many years. I mention this in the interest of authenticity, but also to convey the complete message of what I do to think.

Once I’ve settled in the water, I say a short prayer, and I ask this thing I believe in to enable me to set aside everything I think I know for an open mind and a new experience. I ask it to help me see the truth of whatever I’m dealing with. Finally, I say in my mind, something to the effect of, “What would you have me focus on here?” and the intention, in this case, was centered on my work life.

Sometimes, in the past, I’ve done this and had things come up that weren’t pertinent to what I was seeking. Say I was seeking direction about work, I might get an intuition about my marriage, as an example.

Whether one believes in something greater than themselves, like a God or something or, if they don’t, I think there’s still value to this style of inquiry. Whether you regard it as self-inquiry or something more like I do, perhaps the results are similar.

Some interesting things came up. I’m a writer, self-admitted, and I’m also a collector, at least in an aspirational sense. The notion of content marketing for my real estate business is one I’ve long been interested in, and it snapped clear this morning in the bath that I just need to begin. I’ve spent months studying content marketing and nearly completing the Hubspot certification course on it, and I’ve read books and more books. But I haven’t begun. And that was part of the inspiration today, just that: begin. Make a beginning. Gather up some momentum, and then you can return to the fine details and fiddle and try your hand at perfecting later.

Even before that notion bubbled up (which I was very thrilled about, by the way, and felt massive relief compared to yesterday), one came first that was unexpected.3 My company is changing hands, and without breaching my NDA, I’ll say that there’s soon to be a new potential to generate revenue by means of recruiting agents to the company.4 This news was new last week, but the shift in perception in that I’m able to employ what I’ve learned about internet marketing on a national and global audience rather than a geo-local one is way cool and I’m pumped about it!

I keep a small notebook next to the tub on the floor and a hand towel so I can dry my hands and write legibly when ideas and things come up. In my experience, there’s a point of diminishing returns with this exercise. When I do it often, I don’t experience insight every time.5 When it’s irregular and I’m perplexed, it works for me.

This is the most important thing I could put down today, so I did. I feel fresh and relieved and I have felt that way all day. I was productive but not obsessive with my work. I read fiction for an hour. I worked on my novel for an hour. I spent time with my wife. I had an excellent day.

This is the reason why.

  1. Mostly “off,” by the way. But not an insignificant amount of “on,” to be fair. ↩︎
  2. I also have a hearing disorder called tinnitus which provides a constant ringing in my ears that’s amplified when I’m quiet and also when I think about it. The water doesn’t make it go away, but it gives me greater quiet and comfort than I’ve found otherwise. ↩︎
  3. These things tend to be unexpected, which is why I do it. This works for me, and it’s deeply more satisfying and intimate and personal for me vs. rewinding and playing a how-to Youtube video a couple times, taking a bunch of notes, and making some half-measure effort to do some thing that worked for someone once. This feels fulfilling. That feels obligatory. ↩︎
  4. Less than exciting at face value, but when I consider it, it’s an opportunity to have a global product that I can work to sell, and I can do so in a way that actually adds tremendous value for people. Looking at it through that lens excites me! ↩︎
  5. However, I do believe that when I was doing this exercise daily for several months, if not more than a year, I was producing both narrative writing/editing and real estate sales like it was effortless. I had a spring of power and energy and fortune that made for a very exciting period of my life. Why did I stop? Why do we ever stop doing what’s good for us? ↩︎
Getting Direction